Day 1: Hilperton to Bradford on Avon

I met up with the rest of the crew at Sainsbury’s in Taunton for a pre-adventure beverage (of the coffee variety!) and a quick stock up of essentials led by our Chief Purser and Master Chef for the trip, Garry Vercoe.  Then onwards for the 50 mile drive to Hilperton, near Trowbridge for the boatyard and for the majority their first taste of canal boating.

After being shown our home for the next 4 nights we were subjected to a 10 minute DVD explaining locks, swing bridges and other potential hazards before being unleashed on the British Waterways network – the fools!  The first potential headache was actually getting out of the boatyard as in their infinite wisdom they had allocated us a boat hemmed in by others and not facing the way we were planning to go – or more correctly the way our chief navigator planned.  With the assistance of a boatyard employee (who had also displayed a very helpful knowledge of local pubs) we were eventually on our way cruising to our first stop at Bradford on Avon – a voyage of some 3 miles.

As I’d foolishly admitted to previous canal experience and was standing near the tiller I “volunteered” to steer the first half before handing over to Garry who then performed splendidly for the remainder of the voyage – including traffic lights at a bridge under repair and negotiating our first lock of the trip at Bradford on Avon.

However he did disgrace himself with girlie noises due to getting slightly damp from a trickle of water leaking around the lock gate – a 70’ boat in a lock with 18” to spare you have to be at back to get bottom lock gates open. He was upset we ignored his pathetic screams!

Exiting the lock and our night mooring was found 100 yards away – but only 20 from the back door of The Canal Tavern.

So as the sun was above the yardarm somewhere we adjourned to the hostelry for our first beer – well my first one as the rest of the crew had been at the bottles whilst I was steering.

The evening was then spent sampling ales interrupted only be fish and chips and a massive route march as Phil had an itinerary of dubious pubs he wanted to visit which all seemed to be uphill –

The Canal Tavern – as described conveniently by canal but a Wadsworth pub with resulting awful beer

Three Horseshoes – a local’s pub (which other landlords said we were lucky to exit alive) but we found it friendly with excellent beer

StationPlace Fish and Chip Bar – a sit down meal in the winners of the Wiltshire Times “Best Fish and Chip Shop in Wiltshire 2011.” It was excellent!

The Bunch of Grapes – very expensive with Irish landlord holding an Irish Quiz night – mind numbing so we left after 1

The Castle – worth the find (after several wrong turns) with good beer and barmaids

And then back to Three Horseshoes for one final pint before last orders.  Brian then disappointed as although “time” called barmaid continued to pour pints only to tell him she couldn’t serve him more – still kept pouring for locals whilst telling him.  To be honest we didn’t need more especially as we had to bear in mind the onboard facilities may not cope!!!  

Day 2 : Bradford on Avon to Avoncliff

Gary displayed his culinary skills in stunning fashion producing a breakfast with eggs, bacon and fried bread so we were able to set off fully recharged.  It would be a leisurely cruise to our lunch stop near Limpley Stoke with the vast number of moored boats on the stretch from Bradford keeping our speed down to a mere 2 mph.  There is a side effect of reduced speed in that boat does become less responsive to steer but as John proved there can be a benefit of these moored craft in that you can bounce off them to get back online.

John testing out the boat's swingability

Avoncliff Aqueduct

Mooring for lunch a five minute walk from Limpley Stoke we proceeded to our lunch time refuelling stop of The Hop Pole, a lovely 17^th century monks retreat which was reputedly used in the filming of the “Titfield Thunderbolt” and the “Remains of the Day” – lovely pints of Bath Gem and great sandwiches.  Again we were made most welcome although without us spending £40 on beer and £30 on food lunchtime trade would have comprised two lady walkers drinking tea and a grumpy old local straight out of Fawlty Towers!

We then motored on to go over the Dundas aqueduct where we turned the boat in the opening to the derelict Somerset Coal canal before going back to our overnight stop at Avoncliff.

But not everyone was on boats

Dundas Aqueduct

To get to our mooring we had to go back over the aqueduct a trick of navigation mastered with a round of applause for the helmsman steering superbly for the first 90 degree turn onto the structure – only for his reputation being destroyed by the opposite turn at the other end – I say what a stupid place to put a bank!

Evening food and drink enjoyed at the Cross Guns Inn although the best beer was not one of their own from the local Box Steam Brewery but an interloper from Brighton.

http://www.crossguns.net/history.html

Another splendid day where the kitty took a hammering!

Some videos -

Cruising after lunch - http://youtu.be/dzHW0k0kEEg

Crew disembark to visit Hop Pole Inn - http://youtu.be/MlLvq08xP4M

Day 3 : Avoncliff to Seend Cleeve

After another excellent breakfast (dare we say better after purchase of non-stick pan) Phil had his first steering adventure taking us from Avoncliff for the first 3 miles or so – he acquitted himself superbly, especially as this included our attempt to emulate the Titanic by having water a couple of inches deep flow through the luxury front cabin occupied at night by Phil and Paddy.  We’d cruised the couple of miles back to Bradford where after the lock we planned to take on water and make use of the facilities for personal clear outs thus saving the boats for night emergencies – with the age of our crew highly likely!  Plans scuppered by selfish other boater getting to water tap first meaning we had to pull over to get crew back on board after working the lock a 100 yards or so passed the water point. 

Bradford on Avon lock - Garry's favourite watering spot

Whilst tethered to the bank waiting for crew and the two who had disappeared to Sainsbury’s for bread, Phil raced through the boat doing his best Corporal Jones impersonation claiming water flooding through front cabin.  We mocked him thinking he was suffering from lack of alcohol (it was about 10) only to find he was serious.  As it was not dirty canal water we assumed we had not hit an iceberg and so were not holed below the waterline but must be coming from our own water tank.

Fortunately we were due to pass the boatyard within an hour so phoned ahead for them to be prepared.  As Garry and John were not back from shopping our captain decided he would stay ashore to tell them what had happened and walk with them along the towpath whilst Phil, Paddy and myself would start off – we hadn’t previously appreciated that Captain Jeffery clearly has Italian ancestry!  As it happened the walkers caught us up within a short time and were able to leap aboard at one of the bridges.  Brian then thought he ought to study the manual and found reference to pump switches in the front cabin.  Paddy pressed these and hey presto the water stopped. As he immediately thought it was our fault he turned white and used language only previously heard some years ago when Garry found his train to attend cricket didn’t stop Taunton Saturdays.

Safely back to the boatyard the engineer leaped onboard and announced it wasn’t our fault as a filter on the water pump had blown and he set about a repair.  Another member of the staff from the yard then appeared with a gigantic vacuum and sucked some 500 litres of escaped water out of the boat – it was amazing in less than an hour the boat had been dried and our water tank refilled.  Strangely the engineer had said this was an incident he’d never known before although he had diagnosed problem within 5 seconds.

We left the yard and motored for an hour and a half to Semington where we planned to moor up for a lunch of bread, cheese and wine – some members of crew had been topping up with bottled beer on leaving the boatyard.  They will remain nameless but it wasn’t me.  After lunch we then motored on through 4 locks and 3 swing bridges to our night mooring opposite the Barge Inn at Seend Cleeve.  The afternoon had been splendid with blue skies and warm sunshine.

and every opportunity is taken to save stress on the boat's facilities

Moored up at 4:30 we set off to investigate the two local pubs only to find the Barge didn’t open until 5:30.  Undeterred we knew there was another (The Brewery) within a few hundred yards only to find this didn’t open until 6:30 – alien hours these Wiltshire villages keep.  We walked further into the village but no other hostelry appeared so we made our way back across fields to the Barge for opening time.  Sadly it was another Wadsworth pub with the most expensive beer of our trip but nowhere near the quality.  So Brian, Garry and myself only stopped for a second whilst the others returned to the boat for showers and we then moved onto the Brewery Inn to establish a bridgehead for the evening beer and food – a great choice although 1 or 2 regretted the flirtation with the orange cider at the end of the evening – I thought it was fine!

A Swing bridge video - http://youtu.be/NY-Mjm2kP2Q

Day 4 : Seend Cleeve to Devizes and back to Semington

After another excellent breakfast we navigated 4 more locks and 2 swing bridges to Foxhangers Wharf just below the start of the Devizes flight of locks.  As this flight comprises some 26 locks just to get you into Devizes and we would have had to do at least 6 (each way) before we could just turn, we decided to walk up the flight.  Unfortunately it was a misty morning so the view of the locks was not as impressive as it might have been but it was still breath taking.  We stopped near the top for a coffee and tea cake before walking into the town centre for a beer in the Wetherspoons – well when I say a beer Paddy and I had water. 

The walk into Devizes had taken nearly an hour and I was conscious of the time as we wanted to get back to Semington for the night to make a trip back to the boatyard Friday morning as painless as possible.  Based on the time it had taken us to make the reverse journey we really ought to have been on the move soon after two to ensure getting to Semington before it was too dark for safe cruising.  However getting all back on board at Foxhangers Wharf was a challenge and it was after half two we eventually set off.   We were however supremely organised on the return journey with bridges opened and locks worked so efficiently that we were moored up soon after 5.  Quite amazing although it did help that we had no hiccups unlike the morning cruising the other way when Garry at the helm once again displayed his penchant for a good bush!  Sadly the photos cannot do the episode justice although there is one with Phil again demonstrating his entertainment affiliations with a Laurel and Hardy impersonation.

The evening was spent at the Somerset  Arms in Semington – a very expensive menu but the food was excellent.  Shame about the beer!

The final voyage

Day 5: Semington To Hilperton Boatyard

The cruise back to the boatyard safely navigated within good time and the boat surprisingly returned intact.  We then motored the few miles back to Bradford on Avon for a final breakfast at the Lock Inn Cafe where most of us were restrained apart from Paddy and Brian who had the Boatman’s Breakfast – what a plateful!  A good breakfast but not actually quite as good as those we had become used to – fried bread definitely greasier!

http://www.thelockinn.co.uk/

A thoroughly enjoyable week I hope was had by all with the good fortune of no rain - amazing during the second week of March.  For me it brought back splendid memories of previous canal ventures, the last of which was some 24 years ago.  If they wanted a repeat I would suggest venturing further north into the Midlands!  Watch this space.